Discovering the Depth of Intimacy With the Lord Through Marriage
When I look back on my single years, I see a young woman who prayed boldly, hoped earnestly, and trusted God with her future. I always dreamed of getting married—not merely to have a companion, but to build a family rooted in Christ. I wanted a marriage that honored God, glorified Him, and made Him the center of our home.
Because of this desire, I made a long list of qualities I hoped for in my future husband. Some of the things I wrote were simple, others were specific, but the very first request on my list was the most important one: “Lord, give me a man who truly loves You.”
Not just a believer.
Not just a churchgoer.
Not even just a “good Christian man.”
I prayed for a man in love with the Lord.
Something deep inside me knew that if the man I married genuinely loved God, he would love me well too. His love for the Lord would shape his character, his decisions, his leadership, and the way we built our home. And in His faithfulness, God answered that prayer. He brought into my life a man whose heart truly belonged to Him.
But little did I know… God would use this very prayer to teach me one of the most transformative spiritual lessons of my life.
The Beautiful Beginning of Marriage
When my husband and I married, we were filled with joy, excitement, and the sweetness of beginning a new chapter together. We laughed together easily, dreamed together freely, and embraced every small moment as newlyweds often do. It was a season of discovery and happiness.
But soon into our marriage, I noticed something I didn’t expect.
Every now and then, my husband would say, “I’m going for a walk alone.”
At first, I didn’t think much of it. But after it happened multiple times, I couldn’t help but wonder why. We were newly married—wasn’t this the time when couples usually wanted to spend as much time together as possible?
He wasn’t upset. He wasn’t stressed. He wasn’t withdrawing from me. He simply wanted to be alone.
Eventually, I gathered the courage to ask him.
“So… why do you go on walks without me?”
He answered with a gentle honesty:
“Because I want to spend time with the Lord—just Him and me.”
His words surprised me. They didn’t hurt me, but they stirred a deep curiosity inside me. From the moment I met him, I sensed there was something uniquely intimate in his relationship with God. Something I admired. Something that almost felt sacred. But this was the first time I visibly saw it.
A Jealousy I Didn’t Expect
As the days passed, this curiosity grew. I had always considered myself a faithful Christian. I prayed regularly, worshiped passionately, studied the Word diligently, and trusted God deeply. I wasn’t a Christian who only lived her faith on Sundays. My relationship with God was important to me.
But still… there was something different about my husband’s faith.
When I watched him pray, there was a quiet peace in him. When he worshiped, there was a gentleness and sincerity that felt deeper than emotion. When he read Scripture, it wasn’t out of obligation—he simply loved being with God.
And in my heart, I felt a kind of jealousy—not a jealous suspicion or emotional insecurity, but a spiritual longing. I wasn’t jealous because he walked without me. I was jealous because he walked with God in a way I didn’t.
I wanted that closeness.
I wanted that rest.
I wanted that intimacy.
I wanted to know God the way my husband did.
Years of Questions
For years, I carried these questions quietly in my heart. I often prayed:
“Lord, what is the difference between how he knows You and how I know You?
What does he have that I don’t?
Why does his relationship with You feel… deeper?”
I wasn’t accusing God. I wasn’t complaining. I simply wanted to understand.
I studied the Word. I prayed faithfully. I loved God sincerely. But something inside me knew that my spiritual life felt different—structured, disciplined, responsible… yet not as intimate.
I admired my husband’s relationship with God because it seemed so natural, so free, so filled with affection. He didn’t strive his way to God. He simply went to Him.
And this drew me even more into prayer, asking the Lord to show me the secret.
Discovering the Freedom in His Faith
As I grew in marriage, I also grew in understanding my husband. I observed how he lived out his faith—not because I wanted to judge it, but because I wanted to learn.
I noticed something profound.
When I prayed, worshiped, or studied the Word, I often did it with discipline. I sensed responsibility. I felt that these spiritual practices were necessary for a strong Christian life—which they are—but sometimes I approached them as tasks to complete.
But my husband didn’t approach God that way. His relationship with the Lord was not built on structure or discipline first—it was built on delight.
He didn’t seek God because he “had to.”
He sought God because he wanted to.
He didn’t go on walks because he needed quiet time.
He went because he longed to be alone with the One he loved.
This difference humbled me. It exposed the gap between my faith and his—not in salvation, but in intimacy.
And the more I watched him, the more this question grew in my heart:
“Lord, why is my relationship with You not like this?”
The Whisper That Changed Everything
One ordinary day, when my husband was sitting in his usual quiet place— Eyes closed, simply resting in God’s presence—I felt something stir in my heart. I wasn’t praying out loud. I wasn’t expecting anything. Yet suddenly, the Holy Spirit whispered to me with a gentleness I can never forget.
“Do you want to know the difference?”
My heart instantly answered, Yes, Lord. I’ve wanted to know for so long.
And then He spoke:
**“You trust Me.
You obey Me.
You believe in Me.
You depend on Me.
And I am pleased with you.
But look at him—
your husband is not only trusting Me…
He is in love with Me.”**
Those words washed over me like a wave of revelation. They didn’t hurt—they healed. They didn’t shame—they awakened. They didn’t expose my weakness—they invited me into something deeper.
In that moment, I realized something I had never seen so clearly:
I had spent my Christian life needing God.
My husband spent his Christian life loving God.
Needing God vs. Loving God
The difference, the Lord showed me, was not in faith but in affection.
When you need God, you depend on Him for strength, guidance, and comfort. You trust Him with your life. You pray because you must. You worship because He is worthy. You read the Word because it nourishes your soul.
All of that is good.
But when you love God, everything changes.
You don’t just seek Him—you desire Him.
You don’t just talk to Him—you delight in Him.
You don’t just worship Him—you adore Him.
You don’t just obey—you surrender out of love, not duty.
His presence is not a place of discipline—it is a place of joy.
The Lord showed me that my faith had been faithful but structured. Sincere but disciplined. Deep but not always affectionate.
My husband, however, lived in that place of affection.
He wasn’t just living for God.
He was living in love with God.
And that was the difference I had sensed since the beginning.
God’s Invitation Into Deeper Love
After that moment of revelation, something inside me shifted. I stopped praying only for strength or wisdom or answers. Instead, I began to pray:
“Lord, teach me to love You—not just to need You.”
And God, in His kindness, began softening my heart. Not overnight, but gently, steadily, like the sunrise.
Prayer became sweeter—not a task but a conversation.
Worship became more intimate—not a song but a response of love.
Scripture became a meeting place—not just instruction.
Quiet moments with God became my favorite moments—not my leftover ones.
God was not asking for more effort.
He was inviting me into more intimacy.
I realized the most beautiful truth:
The Christian life is not sustained by discipline.
It flourishes through love.
Discipline supports your spiritual life.
But love transforms it.
What Marriage Revealed About God’s Heart
As I grew in my own relationship with God, I began to appreciate even more what I saw in my husband. His love for the Lord was not competition—it was a gift to our marriage.
His intimacy with God made him:
gentler,
more patient,
more peaceful,
more joyful,
more loving toward me.
His relationship with God didn’t take him away from me—it brought him closer to me. And through his walk with the Lord, God invited me into a new depth of spiritual intimacy.
I realized that God used my husband to show me what love for Him could look like. Not loud. Not dramatic. Not filled with constant activity. But quiet, sincere, affectionate, steady.
This was the kind of love God wanted from me too.
Walking Forward in Love
Today, my relationship with God is not the same as it was years ago. I still need Him—but now I love Him differently. My prayers flow from the heart more than the mind. My devotion comes more from desire than obligation. And I understand intimacy with Him in a way I never did before.
This journey—this transformation—is part of the masterpiece God is shaping in my life. Through marriage, He revealed something I could not have learned through study alone:
God doesn’t only want us to believe in Him or obey Him.
He wants us to love Him.
Deeply.
Personally.
Affectionately.
He wants our walks with Him to be like my husband’s walks—quiet, intimate, joyful, filled with longing to simply be with Him.
And now, by His grace, I am learning to love Him that way too.
The Heart of This Masterpiece Journey
As I reflect on this part of my journey, I see how God gently took me from one level of faith to another. From duty to delight. From responsibility to intimacy. From needing Him to loving Him.
And I pray that anyone reading this will be encouraged to seek the Lord not only with obedience, but with affection.
Because the greatest calling in the Christian life is not just to serve God or follow God.
It is to love God.
From that love flows everything else—peace, obedience, joy, patience, strength, and purpose.
This is the journey God is leading me on.
This is the masterpiece He is crafting in me.
And I pray it encourages you on your own Masterpiece Journey with Him.