Learning to Trust God for Tomorrow and Live Fully Today
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about something in my life that I did not clearly see before. It is not really about money, and it is not really about work pressure. It is something deeper inside me — a way of thinking, a way of making decisions, a way of living. And I am starting to see that this way has been rooted in me for a very long time.
I realized that many of my choices are not coming from what I truly want in my heart. They are coming from fear — the fear that tomorrow there will not be enough. So instead of choosing what I really like, what I really want, or what would make me happy, I choose the safer option, the cheaper option, the smaller option, the “reasonable” option.
For a long time, I thought this was wisdom. I thought this was being responsible. I thought this was what adults are supposed to do — always think about tomorrow, always prepare for problems, always make sure there will be enough.
But recently, I felt that the Lord was showing me His heart about this. And what touched me the most was not correction, but His sadness. It was as if He was watching me choose the least for myself again and again, not because that is what He wanted for me, but because I was afraid.
Afraid of tomorrow.
Afraid of lacking.
Afraid that if I don’t take care of everything, something will go wrong.
And I realized that many of my decisions were not made by faith, but by fear.
Living for Tomorrow, Not for Today
When I look at my life, I see a pattern. I am always thinking about tomorrow.
“What if something happens?”
“What if we don’t have enough?”
“What if there is an emergency?”
“What if later we need more money?”
So I try to reduce today so that tomorrow will be safe.
I don’t buy what I really like — I buy what is cheaper.
I don’t choose what I really want — I choose what is more secure.
I don’t enjoy fully what God gives today — because I am thinking about tomorrow.
But one day, this thought came very strongly in my heart:
If I am always living for tomorrow, when do I live for today?
God gives me today.
God gives me this day, this moment, this life now.
But my mind, my decisions, my emotions are always in the future.
It is like I am physically living today, but my heart is living tomorrow.
And because of that, I don’t fully receive today. I don’t fully enjoy today. I don’t fully rest today. I am always preparing, always calculating, always thinking ahead.
This is not peace. This is survival.
Fear Disguised as Wisdom
The most difficult part to accept was this: I really believed I was being wise.
I told myself, “Wise people think about the future.”
“Wise people don’t spend too much.”
“Wise people prepare for difficult times.”
All of this is true to some extent. But what the Lord showed me is that wisdom and fear can look very similar on the outside, but they come from very different places inside the heart.
Wisdom comes from peace.
Fear comes from anxiety.
Wisdom listens to God.
Fear listens to “what if.”
Wisdom makes decisions and then rests.
Fear makes decisions and still worries.
When I looked honestly at myself, I realized that many of my “wise” decisions were actually coming from fear of lacking, not from trust in God.
The Fear of Lacking Has Been With Me All My Life
When I think deeply, I see that this did not start recently. This has been with me all my life.
All my life, I have been careful.
All my life, I have tried not to need too much.
All my life, I have told myself, “This is enough for you. You don’t need more.”
I was always reducing my needs, reducing my desires, reducing what I wanted — not because I had no desires, but because I was afraid that if I allowed myself to want more, I might be disappointed, or I might not have enough.
So the solution was simple: want less, choose less, expect less.
Then you will not be disappointed. Then you will be safe.
But do you see what this means?
It means I was devaluing myself without even realizing it.
I was not seeing myself the way God sees me.
I was treating myself as someone who should always take the smallest portion, the cheapest option, the last place.
And this is very strange, because with other people, I don’t think like that.
I always encourage people. I tell them:
“You are precious.”
“God loves you.”
“You are valuable.”
“You should not think you are small.”
“God has a plan for your life.”
I truly believe these words when I say them to others.
But I realized that I was not living the same way for myself.
There Are Still Deep Roots Inside Me
I know that God has changed many things in me. When I look back at who I was before and who I am now, I can clearly see His work. He healed many wounds. He changed my way of thinking in many areas. He taught me forgiveness, patience, love, and faith.
But spiritual life is not changed in one day. There are always deeper layers.
There are things so deeply rooted in me that I don’t even see them as problems. They feel normal to me. They feel like “this is just who I am.”
But recently, God is gently showing me that some of these “normal” ways of thinking are actually limiting me. They are preventing me from fully trusting Him. They are preventing me from fully living in the freedom and the goodness that He wants for me.
I feel that God is pruning me again — not to hurt me, but to help me grow. To remove something that has been controlling my decisions for too long: the fear of tomorrow.
God Has Always Been Faithful — But I Still Worry
This is what makes me a little sad when I think about it.
If I look at my life, I can clearly see that God has always taken care of me.
There were times when I had very little, but I still had enough.
There were times when I did not know what to do, but a way opened.
There were times when I was alone, but the right people came into my life.
There were times when I was in danger, and God protected me.
Again and again, He has shown me that He is faithful.
I know this in my mind.
I know this in my memories.
I know this in my testimony.
And yet, when it comes to daily decisions, I still sometimes act as if everything depends only on me, on my salary, on my bank account, on my calculations.
It is as if I say with my mouth, “God will provide,” but with my decisions, I say, “Everything depends on me.”
This is why I say this is not a money problem. This is a faith problem.
What Does God Want to Change in Me?
I think God is not trying to make me irresponsible or careless. That is not His character. God is not teaching us to waste, to be lazy, or to ignore reality.
But I believe He is trying to change the place from which I make my decisions.
Until now, many of my decisions came from this question:
“What can I afford?”
But maybe God wants me to start with a different question:
“Lord, what do You want for me?”
“Lord, what do You want to give me?”
“Lord, what should I choose?”
Do you see the difference?
The first question is based on what I have.
The second question is based on what He has.
What I have is limited.
What He has is unlimited.
So if I only look at my bank account, I will always choose the smaller option. But if I first look at God, maybe sometimes He will say, “You can choose this. Don’t be afraid. I am taking care of you.”
I am not talking about luxury or becoming materialistic. I am talking about learning to trust the heart of God as a Father.
Learning to Live as a Daughter, Not as a Survivor
When I think about my life, I realize that I have lived like a survivor for a very long time.
A survivor always thinks like this:
“Be careful.”
“Don’t waste.”
“Keep for later.”
“Make sure you will be safe.”
This way of thinking helped me in some periods of my life. It helped me go through difficult times. It helped me build a life. It helped me not give up.
But now, I feel that God is telling me:
“You are not in survival mode anymore. You are My daughter. You can trust Me.”
A survivor is always afraid.
A daughter trusts her father.
A survivor always keeps for tomorrow.
A daughter knows her father will also be there tomorrow.
I think this is the change God is trying to make in my heart:
From survivor to daughter. From fear to trust.
A New Question Before Every Decision
So now, I am trying to learn something new. Before making a decision, maybe I should ask myself:
- Am I choosing this because I am afraid?
- Am I choosing this because I think I am not worth more?
- Am I choosing this because I don’t trust God will take care of tomorrow?
- Or am I choosing this with peace, with trust, with gratitude?
I want to learn to choose not the least because I am afraid, but the right thing because I trust God.
Sometimes the right choice will be the cheaper one.
But sometimes the right choice will not be the cheapest — it will be the one that brings joy, peace, dignity, and gratitude.
The problem is not the price.
The problem is the fear in the heart.
I Want to Enjoy What God Gives Today
I don’t want to arrive at the end of my life and realize that I was always preparing to live, but never really lived.
God gives me today.
God gives me food today.
God gives me family today.
God gives me small joys today.
God gives me enough for today.
I want to learn to say, “Thank You” and to receive without fear.
Not wasting.
Not being careless.
But also not being afraid all the time.
Just living with God.
Just trusting Him for tomorrow.
Just being thankful for today.
My Prayer
These days, this is my simple prayer:
“Lord, You know my heart.
You know I have lived many years thinking about tomorrow and being afraid of lacking.
You know this way of thinking is very deep inside me.
But I don’t want fear to decide my life anymore.
I want faith to decide my life.
Teach me how to trust You not only with big things, but with small daily decisions.
Teach me how to receive Your goodness without being afraid.
Teach me how to live today fully and trust You for tomorrow.
Remove from my heart the fear of lacking.
And replace it with the peace of knowing that You are my Father, and You will take care of me.”
I know this change will not happen in one day. But I also know that God is patient, and He is leading me step by step.
And I believe that one day, I will be able to live freely — not controlled by the fear of tomorrow, but guided by trust in the God who has always been faithful to me.