When God Changes the Heart: Learning to Love the People I Could Not Love

Beginning a New Season of Life

When my children finally began attending kindergarten, I felt it was the right time to return to work after five years of parental leave. Those years at home were precious, shaping my identity as a mother and deepening my understanding of God’s provision. Still, the long break created uncertainty in my professional path. Anyone who has stepped away from their career for several years knows how hard it can be to start again.

I wanted to find a job close to home—something that allowed me to remain available if the school needed to contact me. My priority was to be near my children during their early school years. I prayed quietly that the Lord would open the right door, trusting He understood both my skills and my responsibilities as a mother.

An Unexpected Job Offer

During this time, the boss of my husband’s company expressed interest in my candidacy. His business was a very small, family-run shop that sold products related to sailing. It was far from my previous career field, far from the type of work I enjoyed, and far from the level of responsibility I was accustomed to.

I did not want to work there—not because I looked down on the job, but because it felt like the wrong fit. My husband already worked in that company, and the environment did not seem like a place where my abilities would be used. It was simply too small, too limited, and too far from what I believed God had equipped me to do.

But out of politeness, I agreed to a meeting. To make it easy for them to refuse, I listed several conditions—things I believed they would never accept. To my surprise, the boss agreed to every request.

Suddenly, I found myself with a job I never wanted, in a place I did not choose, doing work that seemed well below my capacity. And yet, because I had no reasonable excuse to refuse, I sensed God had a purpose in allowing this door to open.

Struggling with Dissatisfaction

I began working at the small family-run company. The work was simple, repetitive, and uninspiring. I constantly felt I was wasting my talents. I believed I deserved something better, something more aligned with what God had gifted me to do.

But the hardest part was not the work—it was the people.

The business was tightly held within a family: the grandparents who founded it, their two children who managed it now, and even the grandchildren who helped on weekends. They were extremely bonded as a family, but not warm toward outsiders. They treated employees with little respect, acting superior, cold, harsh, and often terribly stingy.

Their tone, behavior, and attitudes were often unkind. Every day, I prayed before going to work, “Lord, help me to be gentle and patient.”

Outwardly, I remained polite because I believed it was my Christian duty. But inwardly, I struggled with irritation, frustration, and anger. Their behavior often felt immature and unreasonable. I never expressed my thoughts, but inside, I frequently judged them and even thought they acted foolishly.

A Heart that Was Not at Peace

One day, after dealing with another difficult situation, I complained to the Lord, “How can anyone love them? It is impossible. Lord, I hope You do not expect me to love them. I can endure them, but love them? That is impossible.”

I felt honest. I felt justified. And I felt certain God understood.

But then something happened that I did not expect.

The Whisper That Changed Everything

In the stillness of my heart, I heard a gentle whisper:

“I died not only for you, but for them too.”

Just these words.
But those words shook my entire heart.

I had never considered that Jesus died for people like them. In my heart, I thought, They don’t deserve forgiveness. They don’t deserve grace. They don’t deserve the cross.

And then the Lord added silently to my spirit:

“You didn’t deserve it either, but I gave it to you.”

Those words broke me.
They exposed my hidden pride, judgment, and lack of compassion.
They revealed that I loved God, but I did not yet fully understand His love for others.

Humbling Before God

I realized that although I behaved patiently on the outside, my heart was filled with criticism and resentment. I had been living with an invisible anger that only God could see. And He was gently inviting me to surrender it.

I prayed, “Lord, I am sorry. Please forgive me. I cannot love them by myself. My love is too small. But Your love is big enough. Please fill my heart with Your love so I can love them—not pretend to love them, but truly love them.”

God did not instantly change my feelings. Transformation takes time. But I kept praying. Every morning, I asked for His love to replace my frustration. And slowly, the miracle began.

A Transformation of the Heart

One day, without realizing when it happened, I noticed something surprising.

I no longer dreaded going to work.

The heaviness was gone.
The irritation was gone.
The resentment was gone.

Instead, I found myself thinking about the family with sincerity.
I began praying for them—not with annoyance, but with compassion.
I saw them differently, not as arrogant or unkind, but as human beings deeply loved by God.

They had not changed at all.
But my heart had.

The Lord had taken my hard, judgmental heart and softened it with His love. He gave me peace where there had been anger. He gave me joy where there had been frustration. He gave me compassion where there had been resentment.

It was a quiet miracle—a miracle of the inner heart.

Seeing God’s Purpose Beyond Circumstances

Looking back, I now understand that God did not place me in that small company because He wanted to use my professional skills. He put me there because He wanted to use the situation to work on my heart.

Sometimes God leads us into places where we feel undervalued or overlooked because He intends to cultivate humility, patience, and Christ-like love. The greatest growth often happens in the places we would never choose.

I thought the job was too small for me.
But God saw a heart that needed to grow bigger.

I thought the work was beneath my abilities.
But God saw people who needed His love through me.

I thought I was wasting my time.
But God was using every minute to shape my character.

Learning What Love Truly Means

Through this journey, I discovered something profound about Christian maturity.

We often believe we are faithful Christians because we pray, worship, read Scripture, and obey God. Those disciplines are essential. But deep relationship with the Lord is revealed most powerfully in our ability to love the difficult, the unkind, and the undeserving.

I once admired my husband’s extraordinary intimacy with the Lord. I thought I understood God, but through this experience, the Lord showed me that intimacy with Him is not measured by activity—it is measured by love.

God wanted to teach me that love is not something we do with our own strength. It is something Christ creates within us.

The Miracle of a Changed Heart

The family did not become kinder.
They did not treat me differently.
They did not behave more lovingly.

But I changed.
My heart changed.
My love grew.
My compassion deepened.

That is the miracle God did.

And now, when I look back on that season, I am grateful. What I thought was a “wrong job” was actually a divine appointment. What I believed was a small, unimportant place was actually holy ground where God reshaped me.

The Lesson God Wanted Me to Learn

At the end of it all, the Lord taught me this simple, powerful truth:

The greatest miracles God performs are often inside us, not around us.

I asked God to change the family.
But He changed me.

I asked God to make them kinder.
But He made me more loving.

I asked God to change their behavior.
But He changed my heart.

I asked God to remove the difficulty.
But He used the difficulty to refine my character.

A Heart Fully Transformed by Love

Today, I carry that lesson with me wherever I go. And when I encounter people who are difficult to love, I remember that gentle whisper that once stopped me in my tracks: