There are some lessons in life that God teaches us gently over time, and others that arrive with such clarity that they feel like light breaking into a dark room. This is one of those lessons—simple, yet so profound that once I saw it, I could never “unsee” it again. I want to share it with you today, because I believe many of us silently struggle with this same pattern, especially when we are praying earnestly for God’s intervention and waiting for His peace to stay with us.
For a long time, I thought I was surrendering my worries, my anxieties, and my impossible situations to God. I would pray, feel peace, and trust that He heard me. But then, as soon as the circumstances in front of me didn’t change—or worse, looked even more difficult—I found myself sinking again into fear, stress, and questions:
“Lord, why isn’t it happening yet?”
“Why am I still worried?”
“Why can’t I hold on to the peace You promised?”
I knew God. I trusted God. I believed His promises. I had walked with God for many years. I had stories of His faithfulness, deliverance, and miracles in my own life. So why… why couldn’t I keep the peace that I knew Jesus had promised to those who trust in Him (John 14:27)?
After wrestling through this cycle too many times, one day the Lord gently showed me the truth:
I wasn’t giving Him my burdens.
I was lending them to Him.
And there is a world of difference between the two.
The Cycle of Peace and Anxiety—and Why It Kept Repeating
Many times, after I prayed, I felt calm. For a moment, I truly believed, “Yes, God will handle this.”
But then reality stood in front of me. The situation didn’t shift. The people didn’t change. The deadline grew closer. The pressure felt heavier. And little by little, I found myself worrying again, replaying possible scenarios in my mind, and asking God the same desperate questions.
Have you ever been there?
That cycle where peace arrives… and then suddenly slips through your fingers?
I used to think the problem was the situation. Or maybe the timing. Or maybe God was still teaching me patience.
But one day, the Lord asked me a question that completely changed my understanding:
“Do you know the difference between lending and giving?”
I paused.
In my heart I answered:
- Lending means something still belongs to me. Someone else may use it for a moment, but I can take it back anytime I want.
- Giving means something no longer belongs to me. Once I hand it over, I no longer have ownership or control.
Then the Lord spoke to my heart again:
“What about your worries, your fears, your uncertainties… have you been lending them to Me—or giving them to Me?”
My friends, that question exposed what I had never noticed:
I kept praying, “Lord, I give this to You,”
but in truth, I had only lent it to Him.
Whenever the answer didn’t come quickly…
whenever I didn’t see visible progress…
whenever emotions rose up again…
I took it back.
I didn’t mean to.
But I did.
And because I kept taking back what I said I surrendered, I could never fully receive the peace God had prepared for me.
Why We Lose Peace When We Only ‘Lend’ Our Problems to God
When we lend something, ownership stays with us.
We are still responsible.
We still feel the weight.
We still feel the pressure to control the situation.
That’s why peace disappears—because peace is not found in control.
Peace is found in trust.
Scripture says:
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and He will sustain you.”
— Psalm 55:22
“Cast” does not mean “place gently.”
It does not mean “temporarily hand over.”
It means throw it off with finality, as if saying,
“This no longer belongs to me.”
Jesus also invites us:
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28
Rest comes after the burden is transferred.
But if we only lend our burdens—still holding on internally—then rest never has a chance to settle in our hearts.
That’s exactly why my peace kept disappearing.
I had one hand reaching toward God…
and the other hand still holding tightly to my worries.
You cannot receive peace with a clenched fist.
Recognizing the Signs: Lending vs. Giving
Perhaps you’ve experienced this too.
Here’s how I finally recognized that I had been lending, not giving:
1. I still felt responsible to “fix it.”
Even after praying, I felt pressure to make everything work out.
2. I kept replaying “what if” scenarios.
My mind was still working overtime, trying to prepare for the worst.
3. I felt anxious when circumstances didn’t change.
If the situation didn’t improve immediately, I panicked again.
4. I prayed the same prayer repeatedly—not out of faith, but fear.
I wasn’t asking—I was checking if God remembered.
5. I had peace for moments, not for days.
Peace visited but didn’t stay.
These signs revealed that my trust was still under my control.
I hadn’t truly surrendered.
The Day God Opened My Eyes
That conversation with the Lord changed me.
It was as if God gently held up a mirror and helped me see my own spiritual habit:
I was asking Him to take care of my problems…
but I wasn’t letting go of them.
It wasn’t His timing that was the issue.
It wasn’t His willingness.
It wasn’t my faith knowledge.
It was my ownership.
As long as I still believed the problem belonged to me,
I couldn’t fully experience the peace of God guarding my heart (Philippians 4:6–7).
This revelation humbled me.
But it also freed me.
What It Really Means to GIVE Your Burden to God
Giving God your burdens means releasing ownership.
It means recognizing:
- I do not have the power to fix this.
- I do not have control over the outcome.
- I do not have to figure out every detail.
- I do not need to understand the timing.
- I trust that God loves me enough to handle what I cannot.
When you give, it’s no longer yours.
You don’t revisit it every day to see if it’s “still okay.”
You don’t take it back when emotions rise.
You don’t negotiate with God.
You rest.
You trust.
You wait.
And while you wait…
God works.
Surrender Is Not Weakness—It Is Faith
One of the hardest truths about following Jesus is that surrender is not passivity.
Surrender is strength.
Surrender is faith.
Surrender is obedience.
Scripture tells us:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
— Proverbs 3:5
When we choose to give our burdens fully, we are saying:
“Lord, I choose Your understanding—not mine.”
“Lord, I choose Your plan—not mine.”
“Lord, I choose Your timing—not mine.”
“Lord, I choose Your peace—not my anxiety.”
This is the faith that moves mountains.
This is the trust that sustains us through storms.
This is the surrender that transforms our spiritual walk.
How My Prayers Changed After This Revelation
Before, my prayers were still mixed with fear.
Now, when I face new challenges, I remember what God taught me:
Give it—do not lend it.
So my prayers sound different now:
- “Lord, this belongs to You, not me.”
- “I release this into Your hands fully.”
- “I trust You to carry what I cannot.”
- “I will not take back what I give to You.”
- “Your peace is my portion, because the burden is no longer mine.”
And do you know what happened?
Peace stayed.
Peace remained.
Peace returned even when the situation was still unresolved.
Because peace never depended on my situation—
Peace depended on ownership.
An Invitation for You, My Dear Friends
I share this not as someone who mastered surrender instantly,
but as someone who learned through many tears, many worries, and many repeated prayers.
If you find yourself caught in that same cycle—
peace, then worry,
trust, then doubt,
surrender, then fear—
I want to gently ask you the same question God asked me:
Are you lending your burdens to God, or truly giving them?
It is not a question of shame.
It is an invitation to freedom.
Our Father does not want you carrying weights He never designed for your shoulders.
He is not disappointed in your struggle—He is calling you into deeper rest.
Jesus said:
“Take My yoke upon you… and you will find rest for your souls.”
— Matthew 11:29
Rest comes after release.
If You’re Ready to Give—Not Lend—Here Is a Simple Prayer
You can pray this right now.
You can whisper it, write it, or speak it aloud.
“Lord, I give this burden to You—not temporarily, but fully.
I surrender ownership of the situation, the outcome, the timing, and the emotions surrounding it.
This no longer belongs to me.
I trust You, Lord, and I choose to rest in Your peace.
Help me not to take back what I have given.
Carry what I cannot carry, and strengthen me to walk in faith.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
If you pray this honestly, God will meet you.
Peace will return—not as a moment, but as a posture.
And you will experience the beauty of living in true surrender.
Closing from My Heart
My dear friends,
This journey of giving instead of lending has changed how I walk with God. And I pray that this message speaks to your heart just as deeply.
May the Holy Spirit remind you gently whenever you are tempted to take back what you already placed in God’s hands.
May you discover the joy of peace that stays.
May you walk in the freedom of knowing that your Father carries what you cannot.
Thank You, Lord, for showing us that surrender is not losing control—
It is placing control where it truly belongs: in the hands of God.
And may each of us, from this day onward, learn to give, not lend.
I love this so much! Thank you for letting God use you to reach me!!!
Hello Carly,
Thank you so much for your encouragement.